intention.

why do i come here? Australia. Queensland. QUT.
because i want to study and learn as much as i can about this wonderful country.
yep. Main intention would be wanting to study.
so that is what i should be doing, shouldn't i?
unfortunately, this last few days i've spent here, i had done no such thing.
i was busy with other stuffs that have nothing to do with my studies but have significant impact on my social life and gaining new infos.
one question.
is that bad?
should i get punished for spending time with my friends when i could have used the time 'wasted' there, doing some uni work?
or is it ok?
should i feel fine for spending sometime away from uni work and socialise with beloved friends?
which one should i feel?
tell me for i do not know what are my options.
i don't want to be selfish and just look at the issue from my point of view alone.
i do believe that what i was doing was fine. while my sister believe that i was wasting my time here in Australia by going out and hang out with friends.
fair enough.
her argument being i was funded by the tax-payers to come here and study. that is what i should be doing. not hanging around watching some movies or shopping.
my argument, on the other hand, would be, as i was here in Australia, i might as well experience an Autralian way of life.
people might think as they like. its their right. and people can judge all they want because that is what people are good at. judging. yep. people like me and you.
so now, back to the topic at hand.
is my actions has gone against my original intentions?
have i betrayed the government's trust on me?
have i abused the tax-payers' hope?
or is it fine?
is my actions beneficial?

i don't really care about what people say about ME.
but i do care what people take my actions for as i am here because of the people.
they paid quarter of their money so that they'll get a better future for themselves and their family.
so tell me now. not tomorrow. not later.
my intentions, has it been violated?

broken promises...

promised myself, i wont post anymore sad thing
promised myself, i wont cry because of you
promised myself, i wont miss you
promised myself, i wont visit your page
promised myself, i wont listen to our song
promised myself, i wont check you availability in ym
promised myself, i wont look at your picture
promised myself, i wont dial your number


but i did. i did. i did.
cant help it
hands keep on typing
tears keep running
heart keeps aching
mouse keeps clicking
ears keeps hearing
mind keeps wondering
eyes keeps looking
finger keeps scrolling.

i'm sorry. i've broken them promises.....

curtesy of : pseudohumane

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You by Pablo Neruda

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You by Pablo Neruda

assignment assignment...

as the title above suggested, yeah this post is about assignment or the motivation to do it. or lack thereof. oh whatever.. hmm.. ok, i was supposed to complete my third assignment of the semester which is due on this Friday, but i cant seem to find the drive to make me continue doing it. so let me entertain myself here, and you people who happen to trip down into this page about assignment and why (oh whyyyyy...) in the world do we have to do it anyway.
ok first of all, it is the unit requirement of our course, or in layman's term, if you don't do it,you don't graduate and you can kiss goodbye to your valuable golden youth time wasted and your parents (or in my case, parents', government's and tax-payers') money also wasted on your ungrateful arses to ensure your place in whatever institution you're in now. oh and also you can kiss goodbye to your girlfriend (applicable to dudes only) too.. since women now are more interested in your brain and work position AND money (yup, i admit it dude, we women ARE materialistic) only. it doesn't mean that i'm looking down on my own kind but yeah we are materialistic because we are realistic. hey come on, admit it, you dudes too need money to live right? don't fool yourself. i know you think so too. so better do your assignment, get good grades, graduate, work and grab the girl of your dream. =)
the second reason for doing assignment would be its for your own good. i know i know, i sound like your mother on the phone when you call her and complain about your workload, ridiculous assessments (as we call it here in uni) and pressure and how much you wish that whomever invented assessments in the first place would rot in hell. but hey, come on, if you do not put into practice what you have learned then why learn in the first place right and besides, you'll understand your stuff better if you put the into use rather than mere reading and memorizing. i supposed now i sound more like your granny that your mom right? me think so too. ^^ but really, isn't it funny? you have been studying half your age and you don't have a clue on how to apply what you have learnt. what a waste, buddy!
the third one would be... hmmm lets see... oh yeah! would you rather dry clean your brain during long hours of examinations or spent few sleepless night doing assignments? duh~ you think i believe that you did your assignments wayyyy before your dateline? give me a break! from my research and observation (yeah i did do it, though its inofficially done, hehehehehehe) this past 3 years, 90% of uni students only do their assignment a few days before the due date with 50% of them do their researches as soon as they were given briefing bout the assignment and 40% more would be doing them prior to the due date. haha you can't fool me jerks! because i'm in the super-cool 90% group but which end will remain a secret. ahahahahahahaha...
so now there you have it, three major reason why we unfortunate uni students had to do our assignments. some might ask, 'hey moron, only three reasons? i can come up with thousand of reason why i SHOULDN'T be doing assignment.' so here the answer, keep on giving reasons for we human are very famous for our excuses. God give us the most valuable possession man could ever had, a BRAIN. so don't let is go to waste by not filling it with knowledge because then, you might as well E-Bay them to people in need then leave them collecting dust in your skull.

p/s: Gina always wonder why people call her cold-hearted. is it wrong to have your own principle?

Syukur..

hari ini aku dan kawan-kawan telah dibawa oleh pensyarah-pensyarah tersayang untuk menjelajah Sunshine Coast, Australia. Tempat ini amatlah cantik. Subahanallah... Airnya yang putih bersih dan sejuk. Pasirnya yang mulus. Alhamdulillah, cuaca hari ini juga agak redup, menambahkan lagi keindahan tempat ini.
Aku sudah agak lama kepingin untuk bermain air laut di bumi Australia ini tetapi hanya hari ini bisa melunaskan keinginan itu. Ya Allah! Aku berasa amat kagum dengan apa yang telah aku lihat dan alami. Kekuasaan Allah sangatlah jelas kelihatan. Dari buih-buih ombak yang menghempas pantai hinggalah pepohon yang memagari tepian pantai.. Sungguh. Terasa sangat puas hati dengan lawatan kali ini kerana aku dapat benar-benar merasai nikmat kesejukan air laut di Sunshine Coast. oh, bukan aku tidak biasa dengan air laut, sahabat. Baitiku di Malaysia letaknya hanya sekitar 200 meter dari gigi air Pantai Bersih. Tetapi tidak sama dengan yang disini kerana perkara yang biasa-biasa aku lakukan di Malaysia seperti duduk di pinggir pantai sambil mengamati kecantikan alam tidak dapat dilakukan disini sewenang-wenangnya. ini kerna disini, pantai-pantai awam letaknya agak jauh dari asrama ku di Queensland Unversity of Technology kampus Kelvin Grove. Jadi kesempatan yang ada ini amatlah aku syukuri. Terima kasih tuhan. Disaat aku ketumpulan idea untuk menyiapkan tugasan, Kau membuka jalan untukku berehat menyelami indahnya ciptaanMu agar dapat ku mencari ilham disamping memanjatkan kesyukuran atas kurniaan alamMu ini.
Walaupun sering diri ini lupa padaMu, Kau tetapi jua memberi rahmat cintaMu tanpa putus. Terima Kasih Allah. Ta.

pos kedua aku.

post kedua aku dalam bahasa melayu. seronok kerana aku jarang sekali menghantar pos dalam bahasa ibunda dan sudah lama juga aku tidak menulis sebarang warkah berbahasa melayu. jikalau aku menulis dalam bahasa melayu maknanya ada perkara yang menekan diri. itu pasti kerana untuk menaip dalam bahasa Inggeris, aku harus berfikir panjang untuk mencari perkataan-perkataan yang sesuai. oh sudah jauh aku tersasar.

warkah kali ini, hanyalah satu lagi nukilan rasa dari aku. dan sudah semestinya saperti warkahku sebelum ini, isinya berupa keluh kesah seorang aku. jika malas mahu mendengar, dipersilakan ke laman blog yang lain ya. *adakah orang yang membaca lamanku ini kecuali diri ini. hahaha lucu.*

keluhan ku kali ini ada berkaitan dengan seorang sahabat. mungkin ia hanyalah perasaan ku sendiri yang sering menggambarkan perkara yang bukan-bukan, langsung menimbulkan taksiran-taksiran negatif didalam minda. dan mungkin juga, semua itu bukan sekadar tanggapan. ya benar Amira, kau sudah kehilangan seorang sahabat.

aku tidak tahu apakah aku ada tersilap bicara, terkhilaf gaya, tersasul bahasa. tiba-tiba sahaja sahabat ku ini kurasakan semakin jauh dari gapaian tanganku. tiada kata darinya. langsung. tiada.

sahabat, dimana sahaja kau berada, ketahuilah. aku ingin memohon ampun sekiranya ada perkataan ku menampar wajahmu, perbuatan ku mencalar hatiku. ketahuilah. tiada niatku menyakiti sahabat yang kuanggap saudara. ya. saudara. bukan sekadar siapa-siapa. tetapi jika kau tidak sudi menerima, sekurang-kurangnya, beritahu aku. janganlah disimpan seorang diri rasa sakit dihati. jikalau sudah lahir benci dalam hatimu terhadapku, terpulang apa hukuman kau mahu jatuhkan. aku sanggup. demi seorang saudara. sungguh.

tidak mengapa jika rasa sayang seorang sahabat sudah hilang terhadapku. mungkin aku ada dosanya. maaf sahabat. mungkin seorang aku ini membebankan dirimu.

hmm.. terasa lega setelah menulis disini. jika ada sahabat-sahabat yang membaca nukilan ini dan pernah dilukai aku, sepuluh jari kususun memohon ampun. diharap kalian tidak meninggalkan aku juga.

salam.

the song that i am currently humming to..

99 Problems - Jay-Z

If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

[Verse One]

I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol

Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed

Rap critics they say he's "Money Cash Hoes"

I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those

If you grew up with holes in ya zapatos

You'd be celebrating the minute you was havin' dough

I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole

If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward

I got beef with radio if i don't play they show

They don't play my hits i don't give a shit SO

Rap mags try and use my black ass

So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers

I don't know what you take me as,

Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has

I'm from rags to ritches niggas I ain't dumb

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

Hit me

[Chorus]

99 problems but the bitch aint one

If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

Hit me

[Verse Two]

The year's '94 and my trunk is raw

In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin' law

I got two choices y'all pull over the car or (hmmm)

Bounce on the double put the pedal to the floor

Now I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jay.

Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case

So I...pull over to the side of the road

I heard "Son do you know why I'm stoppin' you for?"

Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hats real low?

Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know

Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'?

"Well you was doin fifty-five in a fifty-fo' "

"Liscense and registration and step out of the car"

"Are you carryin' a weapon on you I know a lot of you are"

I ain't steppin out of shit all my paper's legit

"Well, do you mind if I look round the car a little bit?"

Well my glove compartment is locked so are the trunk in the back

And I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that

"Aren't you sharp as a tack, you some type of lawyer or something'?"

"Or somebody important or somethin'?"

Nah, I ain't pass the bar but i know a little bit

Enough that you won't illegally search my shit

"We'll see how smart you are when the K9 come"

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

Hit me

[Chorus]

99 Problems but a bitch ain't one

if you havin girl problems

i feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one hit me

99 Problems but a bitch ain't one

if you havin girl problems

i feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

Hit me

[Verse Three]

Now once upon a time not too long ago

A nigga like myself had to strong arm a hoe

This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy

But a pussy havin no God Damn sense, try and push me

I tried to ignore him and talk to the Lord

Pray for him, cause some fools just love to perform

You know the type loud as a motor bike

But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight

The only thing that's gonna happen is I'ma get to clappin

He and his boys gon be yappin to the captain

And there I go trapped in the kit kat again

Back through the system with the riff raff again

Fiends on the floor scratchin again

paparazzi's with they cameras snappin them

D.A. tried to give the nigga shaft again

Half-a-mil for bail cause I'm African

All because this fool was harrasin' them

Tryin to play the boy like hes saccarin

But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how I hold my gun

I got 99 problems being a bitch ain't one.

Hit me

[Chorus X3]

You're crazy for this one Rick

It's your boy

(http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/99-problems-lyrics-jay-z/91ac14f077bcf79848256ddf0006c3f1)