...

books, papers, notes on the ground

eyes staring straight at the clock

tick tick tick

counting the blessed time

till i'm in you're arms again

basked in your warmth

spreading through my heart

hoping to banish my loneliness

in the land of emptiness

and i sat there imagining

would there be time when i could go without you

and my heart shattered at the thought

but still i fight the timeless battle of loving and missing you

distance seems to small a price to pay

for a bright smile of yours

the sign of an eternal love

how i miss you

Mom.

izinkan aku...

Izinkan aku ya Allah
menebar bakti dibumiMu
kecil atau besar bukan neracanya
kerana sungguh yang ku mahu
hanya redhaMu

Izinkan aku ya Allah
menarik saudara-saudaraku
kearah redha cintaMu
kerana sungguh yang ku kejar
hanya kasihMu

Izinkan aku ya Allah
mengetuk hati-hati yang layu
agar kembali segar dengan kalimah agungMu
kerana sungguh yang aku damba
hanya belasMu

aku mampu sabarkan hati
aku bisa cekalkan diri
kalau diizinMu untuk
menjadi sendi2 penyokong ad-Din mu.

kerana sungguh aku cintakan Mu.

dearly beloved.

self-absorb, i am not.

mature, will i ever be.

but the survival instinct blessed me with both.

none makes me content

none makes me satisfy

thus i'm sorry for you

for its not your fault that

this benign attitude of mine

will it be turned to you,

you'd feel sorry for the rest of your life

but the sparks did come from you

so, just lie still dearly beloved

and enjoy the ride

the i-don't-know-what-to-post-but-i-need-to-post-something moment

IMMOBILE

succumb to misery as

watching what supposed to be mine

waltz away with another

thus blocking out the vision

seems somewhat easier

yet painful effort

time crawls away slow enough

to nullify the pain

but not slow enough

to erase the sight of you

alas i choose to step aside

before i have the guts

to condone the fact

that there was never an US

to begin with

so here i am

living but not quite living

watching the world revolve

without me moving an inch

with this regret of not trying

being the bane of my existence

~ph~

*just something i found, lying around*

Alhamdulillah~

Ya Allah,
sesungguhnya
aku ini miskin harta benda
tiap hari aku panjatkan doa
agar aku ini dikurnia rezeki secukupnya
agar hidupku dilimpahi barokah
namun aku masih begini.

Tapi Ya Allah,
Kau kayakan aku dengan cara lain
Kau kurniakan aku
harta yang lebih mahal dari itu
harta yang lebih indah
harta yang tak terbeli dengan emas
Kau kurniakan aku SAUDARA.
saudara seIslam
yang indah pekertinya
yang mahal kasihnya
yang suci hatinya.

Subhanallah
bagaimana bisa aku berterima kasih padaMu
bagaimana bisa aku balas CintaMu
kepada seorang hambaMu yang tak pernah bersyukur ini?
titisan darah yang terakhir dari tubuhku pun
tak mampu diganti dengan rahmatMu ini
cuma harapan ku,
agar aku berkesempatan untuk menunjukkan rasa cinta dan syukur ini
padaMu
Ya Allah
Ya Rahman
Ya Rahim
Ya Latif...

baru terjumpa..

aku muslim. sudah lama.
sejak lahir lagi.
aku muslim. kad pengenalanku ada tertera.
dengan megah. Islam.
tapi. baru sahaja aku terjumpa.
jati diri yang hilang.
ya baru 2 bulan lebih kurang.
aku baru terjumpa Islam.
aku baru kenal apa itu muslim.
*termenung*
ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku malu padaMu.
Kau tidak pernah lupa padaku.
berkali-kali Kau kirim peringatan.
berkali-kali juga aku tak peduli.
ya Malik, aku hanyut.
sayu hatiku terkenang.
dosa-dosa silam.
yang berat yang ringan.
ah, terlalu pedih untuk diungkai.
biar sahaja jadi rahsia kita, ya Allah?
tiada lain tempat kumengadu.
sakitku, riangku, pedihku, maluku.
hanya Kau yang satu.
yang selalu ingat padaku.
yang selalu sayang padaku.
yang selalu mengingatkan aku.
yang lalai.
yang tak kisah.
yang malas.
yang hina.
*tunduk*
izinkanlah aku bercinta denganMu Kekasih.
redhaMu ingin kukejar.
sebelum Izrail melambai pulang.

hey hey listen here..

i am sick and tired of seeing
my beloved brothers and sisters
dying in the streets
shot, slaughtered, bombed
by murdering madmen with no brain

i am sick and tired or reading
about 'Muslims are terrorists' rubbishs
about how Palestinians, and afghans and Iraqis
deserves to die the way they did
with zero ounce of pity

i am sick and tired even more
when my brothers and sisters
refuses to see and understand
the simple fact of life
that Allah used to explain in Quran
that 'the Kuffars and Munaffiqin won't settle
until the blood of the last Muslim is shed

now listen here dear brothers and sisters
its time to stand up for what you are
its time to speak up for what you believe
its time to work on what duty bestowed to you
its time to bring back the empire
its time
its time

i used to

i used to think
that You're unjust
letting me face obstacles
when others are happily living
i used to think
that You're mean
making me feel miserable
with life's unfair treatments
i used to feel
that You hate me
when the very world
i feel safe in
crumbles to dusts beneath my feet
i used to feel so lonely and dwarfed
when everyone around me
are laughing away together
and are blessed at every turn
now i'm proud to say
O Allah
i am wrong
You are Just
You are Merciful
You are Kind
and most importantly, You are always here with me
in the beating of my heart
in the breath i take in
in every cell of my being.

now i know..

now i know
friendship lasts a lifetime
nothing could break it
except for Allah's will
yet, no human has the right
to separate friends
for friend are brethren
i am ashamed
for i try to play god
by wanting to unfriend you
i am so sorry friend
for i know you'd feel blue
as i've turned my back on you
is it too late to un-unfriend you?
how i wish it is true
that i'd be forgiven, i do.

aku sedang belajar
untuk mencinta
dirimu yang pernah ku kenal
juga pernah aku siakan
tidak layak rasanya
mengungkap rasa kasih
mengenang cintamu padaku
yang mudah ku endah
aku sedang belajar
mengikuti langkahmu
meniru lagakmu
mengalun katamu
mengkagumi sabarmu
memuja amalmu
manusia tanpa dosa
semoga aku cepat pandai
semoga aku cepat faham
kerna aku mahu jumpa kamu
wahai kekasih Allah.

smile ^^,

smile

even just a slight lope of your lips

could turn sour to sweet

could turn cold to summer heat

just a little smile

could light up gloomy heart

until it sings in rejoice

until it blooms tenfolds

no words could describe

how one sad soul

could be enlightened

just by the sight of a smile

just a little smile

means nothing to many

but to some

it means a world to them.

nonsensical...

i shouldn't be sitting here writing blog

i always knew that

i need to get back to work

but somehow

writing here makes me feel alive

no not assignment

never assignment

well maybe sometimes

when i'm to absorbed in finishing it that i lost track of time

yeah i did, surprisingly

but writing blog is different

it allows me to be the person i really am

doesn't matter if i'm moody or ready to lash out any second

whats more important is that i can do what i want

oh okay,

i know i'm writing crap

i know i'm not making any sense

i know i'm losing my mind

and i know why

I JUST WANT TO GO HOME~

The Quote 2

this quote sort of caught my eyes when i was browsing through my 55,000 Amazing Quotes application for random quotations. i want to look for a quotation that might suit how i was feeling today to be made as my Facebook status. it's like a habit for me now.

"A relationship is like a rose,

How long it lasts, no one knows.

Love can erase an awful past,

love can be yours,

you'll see at last.

To feel that love,

it makes you sigh,

To have it leave,

you'd rather die.

You hope you've found that special rose,

'cause you love and care for the one you chose.

By : Rob Cella.

this might sound more like a poem to me but, hey, who cares as long as the meaning get through to you. what you mean is more important that how you deliver it. at least that is how i believe.i don't know about you but for me, it has always been like that.

Anyways, my point here being that a friend is really that one true love the stays with you and make you feel as though you world revolves around each other. ^^

stay

stay with me.

don't think i could stand to be alone any longer.

stay with me.

even if you feel like leaving.

stay with me.

i need to know i'm not alone.

just stay with me.

even if for a moment.

i promise i won't scream.

i promise i won't lash out.

i promise i'll smile.

even when i'm dying inside.

for when you let go of me

i know i'm no longer exist

i know i'd fall

i know i'd break

i know i'd die.

so just stay with me

even just for a while.

psedohumane. May 10th, 2010.

God's Gift

life is meant to be cherished.

yet what we have been doing?

treating as if life is nothing more than a piece of shit.

that is how we view life

why?

why is it life is so undervalued?

but when other people begin to waste their life

what do we do?

we accused them of not being grateful

to God.

yes God. Our Creator for lending it to us.

but then, how about ourselves?

what have we done to preserve it?

what have we done to value it?

N.O.T.H.I.N.G.

so people, before we start throwing tantrum to people we view as

garbage for wasting their life, think again.

what have we done and change.

please change for ourselves and lets be a model to others

rather than lashing out to them.

pseudohumane (06 May 2010/ 9.07pm)

broken promises...

promised myself, i wont post anymore sad thing
promised myself, i wont cry because of you
promised myself, i wont miss you
promised myself, i wont visit your page
promised myself, i wont listen to our song
promised myself, i wont check you availability in ym
promised myself, i wont look at your picture
promised myself, i wont dial your number


but i did. i did. i did.
cant help it
hands keep on typing
tears keep running
heart keeps aching
mouse keeps clicking
ears keeps hearing
mind keeps wondering
eyes keeps looking
finger keeps scrolling.

i'm sorry. i've broken them promises.....

curtesy of : pseudohumane

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You by Pablo Neruda

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You by Pablo Neruda

The Light

Blinking my eyes

As I saw the blinding light

Coming my way.

Always wonder

How could my life turn this way?

How could it be the me now?

Physically, mentally, emotionally,

Changed.

Thie light is getting brighter

Is this the future I am heading to?

Or is this the sign that my life is ending?

Which ever journey I am fated to take

I am very sure

It won’t be a short one

Hahaha

Who knows

You know?

I know I don’t

Well lets cross over to the bright side

And we’ll see what’s in store for us.

Pseudohumane 12.13am January 12, 2010