loved, lost and the happily ever after ending~

falling in love is one of the most wonderful feelings in the whole wide world.
everyone, and i mean EVERYONE, used to fall in love. (dont lie, even love for thou family is considered as falling in love)
i, too, felt in love twice and eventhough some calls it puppy love (i have no idea that puppy could fall in love, though LOL), i felt good about it and i thanked Allah swt each and every single day for allowing to experience this awesome feeling called love.even if it is for a while.

however, i always have ugly time once its all over. the first time i broke up with my then boyfriend i felt very darn miserable that i cried whenever i saw his face and believe me, my eyes swallowed twice the original size. (what do you expect, we were in the same school..) and it happened when i was only 13.

the next heartbreak happened when i was 15. but this time i really have a hard time letting go and miving on because i really madly and irrevocably in love with him. (at that time, i THOUGHT he is the one.. how stupiak of me aite?) since then, i make a promise to myself that i will not fall in love anymore. no more.

i bad at relationships and am worse when it comes to the separation part. so i thought, why should i burden myself then? i could just distance myself from everyone so that i won't feel the terrible emptiness after everything's over.

and guess what? i did it! i was able to put a distance to everyone around me. not even my family could get within arm reach to me. (literally okay guys) and to prove my theory, the day i was going to depart to down under, i hardly cry! the heart-wrenching feeling only comes around about 3 days later and it wasn't as bad as i was expecting.i do miss my family but somehow, i am able to self-motive my life and move on.


no love lost in this story. i won! now, i very much believe that i can survive with my heart firmly in tact if i was able to build a barrier around myself from people. maybe some might find my theory distracting or even horrifying but nobody knows myself like i do. so, bear with me and if anyone doesn't or couldn't agree with me, i'm always open to argument. fire away, mate~