sinful sin...

earlier this evening, i was presented with arguably rhetorical question so far in my life. worder how would i answer it. the question keeps swirling in my head non-stop. "is there anyone without sins?" hmm..
was at a talk yesterday by Dr. Abdullah titled " reason vs. faith". *laugh* cant really understand what the good doctor is talking about since his English accent escapes me most of the time. nevertheless, its very topic make me thinking about my own faith. might as well explain it her before someone or the other accuse me of being a non-believer.
first of all, i want to apologise to Allah because i've not always been a good believer. when i was young *well, i'm not that old, you see, oh well..*, i used to compare Islam and Christianty. too matured to think as such but hey, who am i to judge what Allah has given me, mental maturity. anyway, thats beside the topic. so after reflecting upon the topic, i realise that, really, most of the time i would try to find the logic in what ever that Allah has destined me to be or happen to me. always.
the one thing i understand from the talk, might largely differ from what others understood, would be that i always try to come out with all sorts of reason of why am i done this way or that. reality check here is that, what Allah has given us so far IS not logic. you see, He has given wealth, good health, bless us with good life, great offsprings. both to those believers and non-believers. no discrimination at all.
from my perspective, i found this very very enlightening since honestly speaking, i'm one of those sinners who kept on repenting and making sins and the cycle continues. but Alhamdulillah, i was blessed with parents that love me to death, siblings that's worth life itself, friends that i'm proud to call my bretheren. that and the fact that i'm honored with the opportunity to study overseas and experience this and make me, one who i thought would rot in hell for what i've done, want to fight for Him.
this very realization humbles me to no end. so, yeah, there's no way reason could beat up faith to Allah. never.
so, going back to the very question in hand. after much reflection done on my part, finally i understand why i question my faith when i was younger. i really view that a clergyman or Imam shouldn't be doing any sin at all because after all, they are men of God.
oh go ahead, call me westernalized. but that really what i thought back in the days when i still wear shorts and singlets with short short shaved head. after what i've seen so far and what i understand, sin doesn't always being done by non-believers and ordinary Muslims. in fact, even Muftis might make mistakes at some point in their life, but that doesn't make us evil. we are still normal human being. and besides, who are we to judge that Allah Almighty won't forgive us? Allah promised in Holy Quran chapter 110 (An-Nashr) verses 1-3.
i wont be concluding this entry here today cause really, i don't know how to.
see you then, InsyaAllah.