i'm in love.
ahahahahaha..
yup peps.
cuba teka sapa?
cepat la..
ngeee...
senang je.
famous tau chenta hati
saya ni.
nk tahu?



Sang Khalik.

sedap kan nama Dia?

just some thought~

making list is, kind of, my passion.
no. not passion. its something that i just DO.
anyways, i've been thinking about something that might seem trifle to some but really, meant a lot to me.
i've been thinking about future.
well, not as far as 20-30 years to come.
i'm wondering what Allah has in store for me for the next 5 years.
where would i be?
what would i become?
what would i had accomplished?
what kind of life would i lead?
and the most important Q is,
would i still be walking in this path and stay "tsabat" in da'wah?

please please please Allah,
i'm begging you.
please allow me to stay in this blessed path.
i dont want to go astray again.
i never want to make the same mistakes.
i dont want to disappoint people that i love.
i want to be loved by You.

titis-titis ini~

Ya Rahman,
ampunilah aku ini,
seringkali airmata menitis,
tetapi bukan karena mengingatiMu,
jauh sekali karena mati,
tangis ini karena dunia,
tangis ini karena harta,
tangis ini karena cinta.

Ya Rahim,
satu saja pintaku ini,
mohon perkenankanlah
inginnya sang hamba ini,
selepas ini,
biarlah kemengaliran itu karena cintaMu
tangisan ini karena kasih padaMu
sayu hati ini karena rindu pada pesuruhMu.

Amin ya Robbul 'Alamin..

we're human. JUST human.

i've been thinking~

yes we could make almost everything these days, from GM food, to artificial organs to robots that human-like.

who could tell, maybe in 10 or 20 years to come, we could even go and buy a property in Venus? *chuckles*

but lets sit back and think for a moment. just ponder upon what we had gained so far.
what are we really doing now? in the name of science, we've done everything there is to be done to uncover natures secret wonders. though this sounds innocent enough, which is what Allah SWT and beloved Prophet Muhammad SAW has urged time and again, to go and learn as many as we can about, well, everything.

then again, we tend to forget what is the really intention of us doing so. it is so that we learn to be thankful to Him, learn His powers and submit completely to him. (al-Baqarah 2:208 & Ali-Imran 3:7)

but after all the signs that He'd shown, we feel proud with our discoveries. we call them MY inventions. we're lost in self-satisfaction. we act as Gods. but do we really qualify to be one? heck, we even rely on His air to breath. eat His foods. live in His earth. drink His water. everything is HIS. *sigh*

do we even remember how we got here in the first place? inside our mother's womb? HE knows everything, from the seed meeting the egg to the time we'll meet HIM again in Mahsyar.

MashaAllah~ Subhanallah~ Allahuakhbar~ Praise be upon You, Allah, My Malik, My Rabb, My Ilah~

Strength is with none but Allah and Allah is our best and ONLY protector.

*sorry, i have a lot more to say but one can't write with blurry sight, can one?*

Change.

CHANGE. i've changed. we've changed. they've changed.
for the better or for worse?
Alhamdulillah, if my observation is correct,
they've turn to You for support, ya Rahman.

me? i'm still struggling to find You.
though You've showed me Your grace and love,
time and again, but
i'm still fighting my own demon to destroy
'taghut's in my heart.
i'm still struggling with myself.

i almost lose hope in this path,
forgive me ya Latif.
but You never failed to pull me back on track
You showed me that hope's not lost.
You showed me that yes, i can be a dai'e too.
through my own way, my own style, my own pace.

i'm humbled by Your kindness, O Lord.
now, i'm more motivated to fight my 'nafs'.
to really savour You command,
" O ye who believe! Enter into submission
one and all and do not follow the footsteps of Shaitan;
surely he is your open enemy." Al-Baqarah(2:208)

Please, Allah, My Lord, My Saviour,
guide me through the right path
for i no longer wish to go astray from You,
grant me hope that one day,
i'll able to witness Islam as
Ustaziatul 'Alam~

Amin ya Rabbul 'Alamin...

sinful sin...

earlier this evening, i was presented with arguably rhetorical question so far in my life. worder how would i answer it. the question keeps swirling in my head non-stop. "is there anyone without sins?" hmm..
was at a talk yesterday by Dr. Abdullah titled " reason vs. faith". *laugh* cant really understand what the good doctor is talking about since his English accent escapes me most of the time. nevertheless, its very topic make me thinking about my own faith. might as well explain it her before someone or the other accuse me of being a non-believer.
first of all, i want to apologise to Allah because i've not always been a good believer. when i was young *well, i'm not that old, you see, oh well..*, i used to compare Islam and Christianty. too matured to think as such but hey, who am i to judge what Allah has given me, mental maturity. anyway, thats beside the topic. so after reflecting upon the topic, i realise that, really, most of the time i would try to find the logic in what ever that Allah has destined me to be or happen to me. always.
the one thing i understand from the talk, might largely differ from what others understood, would be that i always try to come out with all sorts of reason of why am i done this way or that. reality check here is that, what Allah has given us so far IS not logic. you see, He has given wealth, good health, bless us with good life, great offsprings. both to those believers and non-believers. no discrimination at all.
from my perspective, i found this very very enlightening since honestly speaking, i'm one of those sinners who kept on repenting and making sins and the cycle continues. but Alhamdulillah, i was blessed with parents that love me to death, siblings that's worth life itself, friends that i'm proud to call my bretheren. that and the fact that i'm honored with the opportunity to study overseas and experience this and make me, one who i thought would rot in hell for what i've done, want to fight for Him.
this very realization humbles me to no end. so, yeah, there's no way reason could beat up faith to Allah. never.
so, going back to the very question in hand. after much reflection done on my part, finally i understand why i question my faith when i was younger. i really view that a clergyman or Imam shouldn't be doing any sin at all because after all, they are men of God.
oh go ahead, call me westernalized. but that really what i thought back in the days when i still wear shorts and singlets with short short shaved head. after what i've seen so far and what i understand, sin doesn't always being done by non-believers and ordinary Muslims. in fact, even Muftis might make mistakes at some point in their life, but that doesn't make us evil. we are still normal human being. and besides, who are we to judge that Allah Almighty won't forgive us? Allah promised in Holy Quran chapter 110 (An-Nashr) verses 1-3.
i wont be concluding this entry here today cause really, i don't know how to.
see you then, InsyaAllah.

Alhamdulillah~

Ya Allah,
sesungguhnya
aku ini miskin harta benda
tiap hari aku panjatkan doa
agar aku ini dikurnia rezeki secukupnya
agar hidupku dilimpahi barokah
namun aku masih begini.

Tapi Ya Allah,
Kau kayakan aku dengan cara lain
Kau kurniakan aku
harta yang lebih mahal dari itu
harta yang lebih indah
harta yang tak terbeli dengan emas
Kau kurniakan aku SAUDARA.
saudara seIslam
yang indah pekertinya
yang mahal kasihnya
yang suci hatinya.

Subhanallah
bagaimana bisa aku berterima kasih padaMu
bagaimana bisa aku balas CintaMu
kepada seorang hambaMu yang tak pernah bersyukur ini?
titisan darah yang terakhir dari tubuhku pun
tak mampu diganti dengan rahmatMu ini
cuma harapan ku,
agar aku berkesempatan untuk menunjukkan rasa cinta dan syukur ini
padaMu
Ya Allah
Ya Rahman
Ya Rahim
Ya Latif...