drifting away...

20 more days to go.. may be a long time for others but for me and fellow Cohort 1 brethen, its only a single breath away... people ask me, 'How do you feel about leaving for two years?'. my answer? shrugging my shoulders and smile. interpretation be damn but really cannot feel anything rather than a huge chunk of emptiness inside me. like there used to be something there but it got lost, somehow.

normal people would be either moping till their eyes fall down or smiling from ear to ear. but since i think i am slightly imbalance where my emotions are concern, i cant seem to grasp the idea of leaving home for two years. what's more being away in an unknown land. i do have my much cherished friends with me but in a way, i seem so LOST.

being moody and gloomy is a part of me no one seem to realise. they even say i seem to have no worries but deep down inside, i feel as insecure as they are. but i rather not show it because its a sign of weakness. but it has always been fine for me since i have people surrounding me who understand and care. but what about then?

when i am there, who is going to keep me safe in my private world? where my sadness, gloom and darkness are mine for keeping. where i can share my thought with those that care. care enough to just listen and pretend that they understand. gosh, i shouldn't be feeling this but i need to state it somewhere. to someone.. maybe here, my intriguing thoughts will be safe with me and friends that care.

hmm...... feeling much better i guess. hopefully i'll be in shape for my outing tomorrow. till then.

misslola INc.

viva la familia!

family is closes and most important element in a person's life. whether one's family is small or large, they valued more than life. i always had been a great believer that every living soul in the this world love and would even wiling to take a bullet for their family. until something happen last friday that totally change my view on human being.

i was hanging around with my buddies when suddenly the one driving got a phone call from a friend's sister. she seems tensed and starting to lose her focus on the road. it turns out that the caller was kicked out of her house by my friend and their mother. ( the father died few years back). she had no where else to go and no one to turn to. poor girl, she'd lost her dad and now were thrown out of her own house. we were so shocked and aggravated. and to top it off, she was even beaten by the mother. the reason for throwing her out being she was suspected for drinking (and i dont mean sky juice, mind you). judging from her appearance and from my friend's anger, she didnt do it.

so now, i'm left to wonder, is there still a thing called brotherly (or in this case sisterly) love in this world? ok, i might be wrong about her not drinking but as a sister, isnt it your responsibility to guide your siblings? for god's sake, think with your head! not your anger! so, getting rid of the sister make her change for the better? are you mad, woman? she's just 18 you moron! yes i am angry and frustrated! wont you? an 18 year old girl being beaten and kicked out off the house in the middle of the night without a penny on her pocket! imagine that!

so moral of the story people, what ever happen, NEVER, leave your family astray cause you might give more room for disaster to happen.

p/s: i'm trying very hard to advise BIGGIE to quit smoking.. seems like eating MCD after running on threadmill~

KL city (52 days before Down Under)

sunday cafe : coffee freaks unleashed!

students~

last 3 days, ive been busy becoming escort teacher aka cekgu pengiring to 12 students from my mom's school with 8 other teachers from the school. in the 3 days trip to KL, i noticed how the students behaving and how the teachers interact with them.
the students vary from standard five to standard six.

i noticed that they really respect the teachers, not just from their school nut also from neighbouring school as well. what's more shocking is they respect me, not because i'm the daughter of the senior assistant of the school but because i'm an adult and for them i am one of their teachers. i was so awestruck when they bow and call me cikgu and kak whenever they passed by me. even in the ladies.

this is very different from what i experienced when i wen to observe teachers in a school in KL. they barely acknowledge teachers and never bothered to greet our group and even the teachers. this sickening view is revolving in our schools and most of the teacher neglect the fact that what is more important is our personality and behaviour, NOT how many A's you get.

people may view the students as budak kampung and kurang bijak since they are living in the country and only 9 students got 5A's for their upsr. but i really respect them for still viewing us teachers as their second moms and dads and not as a sivil servant who got their paycheck at the end of the month for teaching them.

kudos to all country students who still have faith in the traditional way of viewing a teacher!! salute all students of SK Seri Penanti~

dizzy wizzy...

holidays really relax my nerves and it makes me want to keep lying on the bed doing nothing but stretching my limbs.
this holiday is no exception.
however, after two weeks of relaxation and boredom (since none of my siblings is around), i try filling my time with sudoku...
oh, and i take up sudoku not because of a study done shows that sudoku can help people burn up calories.. its just that i am bored to death and the telly isnt helping either.

asked bout the puzzle from my cousin, and the way he showed me, wallah, seems sssoooo easy...
he even say its a piece of cake.

but, things are always easier said then done.
it does apply literally to this puzzle because after 5 puzzles, my head spins and i feel nauseated, i had to stay clear of any sudoku-like things.

gosh! how could my 15-year-old couz stand the brain-spanking puzzle is still a mystery to me..

nonetheless, i'll keep on trying to master this puzzle because it seems interesting. SEEMS. LOL

oh2, i feel sick right now.. go to go.
but before i go, i want to salute those sudoku masters alive!
wonder how they keep their stomach content in check~

adios amiga~

Again and again and again~

was listening to FLY.FM just now for their famous FLIRTY @ 10.30. this week's caller is a dude who wants to pay back to his 'girlfriend', A. for those who missed it, gosh, pity u... i was so stunned by his forwardness.

he felt cheated because his girlfriend lied about who she really was. they've met outside but the dude is unaware that A is B, who she was pretending to be. one day, he found out and KABOOM...

so, this guy asked the DJ to call up the girl and ask her on a date on his behalf. its a humiliating prank but i can understand why he did so.. i WONT be jumping up and down laughing if i was cheated like him.

they called the girl and , oh god, i bet the girl is also listening to the segmen, refuses to entertain them any further and hung up.

but what i am interested in is, gosh girl, you ARE desperado~ LOL
why did you lie about yourself at the first place..
i dont know whether you just want to prank him or really like him but come on!, there's no need to lie mate!
if you like him, tell him.
no need to pretend honey..
i am not trying to humiliate anyone here..
just wondering what people think when they were about to lie or pretend to be others.

oh well guess the question will hang in the air till there's someone courageous enough to come clean..
till then, people.... live life lie.